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Bok Choy Boats filled with Texmati Rice

January 16, 2008

This is what I get when I play with my food. Salty and five-spicey. Salt is fine. Five spice is probably cheating.

A lot has happened in the past two and a half days.

The meat-eating was getting to me. Sunday night in bed, nearly every progression towards sleep’s doorstop was met with a vision of a turkey, fearful; a strong arm holding it still while a deadly gash to the throat closed its eyes. Monday at Topp’s by the Waterfront, I accompanied the husband to pick out a tilapia filet. The seafood and meats section was flounced on all sides by crèmes and cheeses of every variety. My eyes watered at the sight of several wheels of brie (brie always makes my stomach lurch within minutes of eating it) and creamy havarti, sitting next to Laughing Cow, the light Swiss wedge. Over the seafood counter, four cartoon posters depicted happy seafood working out, running through the park, and surfing the internet. It was over. Tears of selfish longing turned into tears of guilt, and I did a bang-up job of embarrassing my dutiful husband. He bought the tilapia anyway, at my behest, and walked me to the train with comforting words.

I think I got through dinner somehow that night, but I boycotted my fish and fowl breakfast the next day. Of course, by lunch, I was really hungry, and I ate most of the turkey. I even poorly food-combined and ate some rice with the turkey. My husband convinced me to call my nutritionist (even though my first real post-starting-the-diet consultation is today) and ask her if I could have Fage again because I couldn’t take eating meat anymore. Fortunately she is a vegetarian herself, and she agreed that the diet could hardly be beneficial if I choked down most of my meals between tears. It seems so wrong to incorporate any dairy in an elimination diet, but the argument for Fage is so strong given my history and nutritional needs. The nutritionist suggested that instead of meat I stir some unflavored rice protein powder into some unsweetened soymilk. I don’t have a problem with soy, other than the fact that like most vegans, I lived on it for several years, and was doing so (with the exception of the MacDougall diet) when I got sick. If this was a candida diet, I would be allowed Fage for its beneficial bacterial ingredients. However, now that I have it, I feel like I’m cheating. I’m so glad I don’t have to eat meat. Fage is the only really good tasting thing in this diet, and I am constantly afraid I’ll go overboard. And its possible that I’m a little more bloated today than the other days on the diet?

Overall, the cravings have become far less powerful. I can’t believe I haven’t eaten any sugars other than very few naturally occurring ones in five days. Fage now brings my sugar grams up as well, but its still around 10 daily rather than 30 – 100. I think quitting aspartame was worse than this. I had delayed withdrawal; horrible headaches that didn’t begin until nearly a week after the last sip. I quit aspartame on the first of the year and the headaches didn’t vanish until this week.

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