Archive for the ‘whining’ Category

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Hot Water Bottle Syndrome

February 26, 2010

About a year into experiencing mysterious digestive symptoms I also noticed that my belly was always kind of red and blotchy. The blotchiness doesn’t exactly come and go, but it does fluctuate in intensity, and it has a very specific shape – a lacy red ventricular pattern under the skin, like latticework. It is not raised, it doesn’t itch, it doesn’t hurt, etc. I never used to think of it as particularly noticeable to anyone but myself and my husband; I wore a 50’s style bikini to the pool a summer ago and I even took a burlesque class last fall and was completely more embarrassed about my flabby triceps than my blotchy belly. I have noticed however that it has gotten worse and worse in the past few months. I have wondered in the past if it had to do with using a heating pad so often; when I am not feeling well I even sleep with one, but it never seemed to go away, even in the months where I felt good gave the heating pad some much needed rest.

I asked my endo what she thought of it and she said she thought the surgeon who removed my gall bladder may have snipped something he wasn’t supposed to and screwed up the vascular system just a little bit. That sort of made sense but I wasn’t sure. I made a mental note to ask my new holistic, whom I love, but I forgot! I did some research on my own and thought that it looked a bit like livedo reticularis, but this condition usually occurred on the legs.

Last night was the first night in a while that I slept with the heating pad through the entire night – easy enough to do with the window cracked and the chill of the Blizzard of 2010 streaming in! I dreamed that I burnt my stomach and when I woke up, I actually had. Ouch! Then I noticed in the shower that the lacy pattern was bright, bright red, more pronounced than it had ever been! My husband immediately found a picture of something called Erythema ab igne online.

Erythema ab igne, or “Hot Water Bottle Syndrome” happens often after repeated exposure to heat or infrared radiation. Digging around through google image search and the online catalogue of many skin condition image collections, Erythema ab igne is the only one I’ve ever seen as frequently on the backs and bellies of patients as on the arms and legs. I am beyond sure that this is what is going on. I suppose I have been using the heating pad way too much, on too high heat. I think I have even desensitized myself to the heat because I recently bought a 2nd heating pad as the first one just wasn’t getting hot enough for me anymore. Really I think its probably common sense not to sleep with a heating pad but then again chronic pain is chronic pain and you do what you can to deal with it.

Needless to say I’m a little distraught. As if I haven’t been feeling ugly enough with the butterfly rash redness and the weight gain.  Worst case scenario, I must get it looked at and possibly biopsied to ensure that I don’t end up with skin cancer.* I often spend my entire day at work just dreaming about getting home and lying down with the heating pad. A far cry from dreaming about getting dressed in my cutest outfit and going out dancing with my friends, but c’est la vie. There is nothing else that makes the pain go away and it even helps with the bloating. Now I don’t know what I will be able to use for comfort except for castor oil packs, which will hopefully help.

Click here to read about a boy Chron’s Disease who has given himself erythema ab igne with a heating pad.

*I realize this sounds a little like the words of an alarmist who does nothing but spend way too much time diagnosing herself online but seriously. Wake up and look like this one day and WTF would you do?

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Update

December 2, 2009

Something strange is going on with the blog; it looks as if everything past October is gone. This is probably only a temporary snafu, but I was thinking of posting anyway, so this update will serve as a test and a real post I suppose.

Yesterday I had flu-like symptoms, and when I took my temperature, it ranged from 95.5 – 96.5 F. Today my temperature is higher but not feverish, but I am home sick all the same, coughing and sneezing and sweating and as an added bonus I have menstrual cramps. Yesterday, in my non-feverish yet totally flu-like haze, I bought an Atkins bar. The small amounts of malitol and sucralose did not bother me as they have in the past. However, chocolate is not allowed on the low-histamine diet. The mistake caused me to consider throwing in the towel on the low-histamine diet, which has not brought about any changes. It had only been three days, but the person in the Yahoo group felt great after 3 days and began to add in the allowed carbs. I kept up the show, however, and just skipped out on food for the rest of the  work day, not being too hungry anyway. I came home and had a few ounces of lamb and a half cup of homemade mashed potatoes for dinner. I also ate a small amount of peanut butter and ricotta cheese and pecans. I was so bloated and miserable all night.  Today I started my period so whos to say what is and isn’t making me ill, between the flu and that.

This blog gets a lot more traffic when I’m feeling well. Of course people want to know how to be cured and how to feel better. I really want to know that. I’m tired of the things I want to be doing falling just out of reach. I’m tired of being someone who makes an effort to be healthy but keeps falling ill. With little colds, feeling flu-ish, etc. I have finally banished the migratory musculoskeletal pains, “bone pain” as I used to call it, and I think this is thanks to mega-dosing with Vitamin D. I’m super grateful that they are gone; the pain was really debilitating at times. But I am still dealing with the bloating and distention, the abdominal cramping, the weight gain, the sneezing and runny noses, and now dizziness and achiness. I am going to see a new doctor towards the end of the month. We have to wait until then because he is outside the union healthcare system, which means I will have to pay out of pocket. He is a holistic doctor, and some of his patient testimonials talk about how he helped people fix their subclinical thyroid and yeast issues. I have held some pretty firm anti-candida views in the past. However, at this point I’m fairly willing to believe that if bacteria can overgrow, then yeast can too. And I’m nearly positive that my thyroid is busted. Test results be damned. So I’m hopeful.

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fasting!

September 4, 2009

Oh man, pretty sure I’ve told someone somewhere before that fasting doesn’t help much. But now I’m doing it! I sure do hate fasting. I’m 13.5 hours into it and I haven’t really complained a lot but I sure want to! 

Probably only doing this for 24/48 hours because man I am way too big of a baby to keep this up. Bone broth and gelatin fast. More details to come.

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excerpt

September 3, 2009

From an email I just sent to my husband:

I f*ing love food so much. this never gets easier. i see the humor in it a little more each day but it never gets easier.

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A little lost

March 8, 2008

I haven’t been able to stick to 1200 calories. Its easy enough on regular days, but I need a rest day (from the gym) once in a while and its impossible to eat so little then. I have upped myself to 1400. I am hoping that with heavy activity the caloric deficit will average itself out to a good number.

Last night I blew everything by having a glass of wine. Once I had a glass of wine I had four squares of dark chocolate. Then I had a bowl of berries and cream. Then I got into a knock-down, drag-out fight with my husband. I’m not sure why I have to prove these things to myself over and over again. Sugar destroys me from the inside out. It works quickly, from the inside out. First the mood worsens and then the abdomen expands. I am not quite sure what I am doing lately. I don’t know why I can’t just be an adult and stop testing my limits constantly. I feel better than before, and I can keep the bloating and distention under control. But I cannot lose anymore weight. My Tanita tells me that I gained two pounds but lost 3% of body fat. I think I am completely lost. I feel like a body on the fringe of science and nutrition, constantly. I never have an answer. I never find the solution. I think this is the feeling that spurs me on to evil experimentation; I don’t have any control over my body.

I am thinking of doing the Eades Protein-sparing modified fast, but I am not sure. For now I am sticking to induction carb grams and a high-quality protein shake for lunch. I bought a Polar F6 last night. It will be interesting to see how many calories I truly burn during activity.

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sort of like a large, phosphorescent dog

February 11, 2008

“There is nothing more stimulating than a case where everything goes against you,” – Sherlock Holmes, “The Hound of the Baskervilles

And everything is going against me.

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I am so tired

January 31, 2008

of waiting for my life to begin again